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News to godSAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited. -Ambrose Bierce |
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November 25 Time and FaithI think what makes a significant difference of whether or not you believe in god is your ability to comprehend time. And rightfully so, even great scientists have had trouble dealing with time. Up until about 100 years ago most thought the earth was a few million to a few thousand years old and Jesus supposedly lived 2,000 years ago. Now that we know the earth is about 4 billion years old. Kind of puts a dent in a bible literalist’s world. Time makes or breaks the Koran, bible and most other religious writings. Many of the basic tenets lose their meaning or just look silly unless you accept the timelines offered in the books. I really believe it is similar to a learning disorder like dyslexia that prevents the person from comprehending the reality of time. Is there a time gene some people are missing? Leaving god "Cold Turkey"For deeply religious church focused people, just dumping religion and belief in god "cold turkey" would be asking a lot. It’s a serious problem. For a religious person to deny god is to acknowledge their life has been a sham. Also, missing all the activities, choir practice, pot lucks, and all that would be no fun. I propose an alternative. Change the focus of religious beliefs to Santa Claus. There are at least as many reasons to believe in Santa as there is god. It would be lots more fun. And the rest of the world would accept it, no problem. They could change the names of churches easily. You could have names like First Church of Santa, Santa Fundamentalist’s Church, and Church of the Elves. You could start a sect and maybe call it the Kringlists. There are a whole bunch of St. Nicholas churches that could stay the same. Maybe you only believe Santa likes chocolate chip cookies. You could speak in tongues and have profits to predict what toys would be popular next year. You could go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays as usual, sing, play bingo, -- all the same stuff you were doing before. Congress could vote to put, “In Santa We Trust” on all the money. We could change the Pledge to “Under Santa”. Everybody would say that, no problem, we all love Santa. For those in transition, I have listed some of the hundreds of reasons to believe Santa Claus is god. I have also prepared sample worship services to get you thinking about how all of this would fit together. Evidence Santa Clause is god
Church of Santa - Holiday ServicesCHURCH OF SANTA The Mormon X-wives Choir will sing their two big holiday hits High Priest and slick dresser Dr. Sidney Weinstein Group Reading from the Holy Scripture Following his sermon Pastor Bob will conduct the Dominion’s Pizza and Vines of Life are sponsoring communion. Following the ceremony, the Blue Grass group “Winkin, Blinkin, and Odd” Come early to avoid the crowds. Don’t forget the PLEASE JOIN US SPONSORED BY OAK ST. HARDWARE AND GIFTS Church of Santa - Easter ServicesCHURCH OF SANTA The Mormon X-wives Choir will sing their two big holiday hits High Priest and slick dresser Dr. Sidney Weinstein Group Reading from the Holy Scripture Following his sermon Pastor Bob will conduct the Dominion’s Pizza and Vines of Life are sponsoring communion. Following the ceremony, the Blue Grass group “Winkin, Blinkin, and Odd” Come early to avoid the crowds. Don’t forget the PLEASE JOIN US SPONSORED BY OAK ST. HARDWARE AND GIFTS
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